Sint Maarten is a really beautiful place if you have the time to get out and explore. Since I’ve gotten here, I haven’t had many chances to see things. I came here with practically nothing in the high hopes that I could find a job somewhat quickly. Turns out becoming a resident is a Long grueling process that I should have started while in the u.s. So up to now I have been staying at my boyfriends studio apartment while he studies for his first block exams in med school. Living in such small quarters has made things between us tense, especially as I never get out except to get groceries. We went out an climbed a mountain for my birthday on the 14th, but not much else has happened since we got here. We have only visited the beach once.
Being realistic, I know that with him bein in med school we won’t be able to do many things together. I just can’t live my life stuck inside his apartment waiting. I have no money of my own and so few of my own personal possessions. I haven’t made a single friend on the island, partly because I never get out and it’s completely different culture. I’m trying to make the best out of what I have, but I know if I had a car, a job, and my own money like I did back in Alabama, I could make it work. I just want to get to a point where he and I both can make things work. Everything in my life is based around him and it’s very tiring. I love him and want to support him but I need to have a little life of my own. I have no crafts or paper or really anything to create things with. I just want some sort of creative outlet so I don’t feel so stressed and trapped all the time.
melodramatic enigmatic post.
Had the craziest fucking dream last night. Damn. I haven’t had and actual dream in ages and of course it was weird as hell. I was at some sort of futuristic acadamey. At a point in the dream, some really old friends of mine who I can’t remember the last time I saw in real life, invited me over for diner. For some reason that was the thought that was most prevalent. Even though the anime like academy was teaching me how to deal with alien like terrestrial beings. In one exercise I got two of my back teeth knocked out. I could feel my jaw swollen an spit out my teeth covered in blood. But still, the dinner was at the forefront of my mind. I knew this other person I used to know would be there so it was very important to me. I met knew people and experienced such weird things. But honestly my teeth was the mos realistic. When I woke up, I felt my jaw for swolleness.
It’s fucking three a.m
Every night this cute little bastard wakes me up wanting to play.
No. Just no.
We gonna have to change some things up,